Man ordered to wear "sex offender" T-shirt�|�Oddly Enough�|�Reuters.com

Man ordered to wear "sex offender" T-shirt�|�Oddly Enough�|�Reuters.com

What's with all the retarded judges these days? A few weeks ago it was being sent to Canada. What's next?
Here's what me and mike think:

Bark Worsebite says:
I sentence you to poop yourself. Right here.
Colin says:
i sendence you to do a barrel roll
Bark Worsebite says:
I sentence you to learn a dead tongue.
Bark Worsebite says:
"But your honour, that's a waste of time!"
Colin says:
You may also not speak your native tongue anymore!
Colin says:
You may only communicate in Sanskrit for the rest of your life. DISMISSED
Bark Worsebite says:
I sentence you to never use conjunctions again!
Colin says:
I sentence you to jump 20 busses on a motorcycle.
Colin says:
That will teach you not to do bad things anymore!
Bark Worsebite says:
I sentence you to count to a billion.
Colin says:
Corrallary: This should be done without the 'skip-a-few' precedent of Women everwhere v. This guys boner
Bark Worsebite says:
Foiled again!

Bonnie Prince Billy Cold and Wet

Bonnie_Prince_Billy_Cold_and_Wet1Mbps_Stream.mov (video/quicktime Object)

I found this on Pitchfork. It's a video for Bonnie Prince Billy's Cold & Wet. Do you like cartoons? Do you like fuzzy bears? Do you like soul crushing stories about murder? Then this video is for you!

A few words on music in general and John Fahey in patricular.

What exactly makes a musician fall into a genre or style? Is it the melody and the scales they use? Their influences and contempories? Or is it the totality of their sound?

I collect a lot of music but I think that anyone who has a large collection of anything can agree that organization becomes increasingly importent with the size of the collection. My books are organized by function (school/magazines/novels) and my CDs by name and date of release but my digital music is a completely different beast. Alphanumeric organization long since became an inadequate way of doing it so I moved on to sorting by genre. When deciding on where a new piece of music goes I'll listen to a few tracks and get a feel for it. Currently I have Audiobooks, Classical & Orchestrated, Comedy, Electronic,Hip-Hop/Rap, Folk/Country/Singer-Songwriter, Indie, Alternative, etc. So far it's worked well for me but I occasionally run across a piece that defies any kind of traditional classifying. I had a lot of trouble deciding where Beck should go, for example. I finally threw him in with the Folk/Singer-Songwriter guys because there's just something that I can't quite explain about his work that makes me think that he belongs with Folk singers.

Some of you may be familiar with John Fahey. Typically he's considered a Folk guitarist and considering the time he worked in, the early 60s onward, it's hard to consider another definition that both makes sense and gives the full impression of what the sound is. Generally folk is seen as being by people, for people. The music down in the streets and in the bars and kitchens and wherever else people gather to celebrate themselves and their history. It usually makes one think of a certain elegant simpleness. The problem with this definition is that it has mutated over the years to incorporate a certain type of virtuosity of the simple; songs that sound simple or follow simple progressions yet are complex and textured. Fahey is certainly an artist who styled his songs around folk country and blues music but in my experience stating any one of these as the dominant makes you immediately notice the elements of the other all the more.

I've been listening to Fahey for a few months now and I'm still no closer to objectively fitting him in anywhere. AllMusic Guide have an excellent quote that tells my dilemma. "His music was so eclectic that it's arguable whether he should be defined as a "folk" artist. In a career that saw him issue several dozen albums, he drew from blues, Native American music, Indian ragas, experimental dissonance, and pop. His good friend Dr. Demento has noted that Fahey "was the first to demonstrate that the finger-picking techniques of traditional country and blues steel-string guitar could be used to express a world of non-traditional musical ideas -- harmonies and melodies you'd associate with Bartok, Charles Ives, or maybe the music of India.""
His first several albums especially have this unclassifiable element that brings me back again and again in awe and wonderment at how impossible it is to explain what's so wonderful about it.

And by accounts he was a sarcastic old curmudgeon.

For instance, there was the time he was playing at the Berkeley Folk Festival and decided to tweak the crowd. "I was trying to convince the audience, who was mostly Negros, that these jerks like Phil Ochs and the impartial moderator Pete Seeger, were writing music about Negros to make money and not to help Negros. That they were actually exploiters. And I got booed by the Negros. I kept saying, 'I think that Negros have enough intelligence to write their own songs. I'm really convinced of it.' BOO! I was set up, I just didn't know it. I was percieved by the left as being dangerous. Because I was playing at the Jabberwock every weekend and packing it. And I was playing an Al Capp role, calling them communists and using the word 'nigger' and things, just to see if they really had any backbone. Nobody ever said a word. Somehow the left found out about this and thought it was much more important than it was. It wasn't really very important, it was just sort of fun. I remember when you'd go into a folk store, there'd always be a big sign up, 'Should Pete Seeger Go To Jail?' I'd always say, 'Absolutely. Because he sings such lousy music.'"

So here's a few tracks.

I Am the Resurrection
Sunflower River Blues with added lyrics by Buck 65 (You have no idea how happy I was when I found this)
The Portland Cement Factory at Monolith, CA
When the Catfish is in Bloom (as covered by Peter Case since the one recording of it I have by Fahey has screwed up channels)

The Official Stephen Colbert Green Screen Challenge

The Official Stephen Colbert Green Screen Challenge

Just when you thought that the Star Wars Kid had finally faded from pop culture Stephen Colbert comes around to squeeze one last joke out of it.

During a recent segment profiling the electoral district in which George Lucas lives, Colbert recreated the old Star Wars Kid video in front of a green screen. The fan response has been great. Click, watch, vote, enjoy.

Something Awful - Flash Tub Adventure

Something Awful: The Internet Makes You Stupid

This is goddamn fantastic. It's an adventure game done in the 'Choose Your Own Adventure' format made by Shmorky. The Maniac Mansion ending is one of my favourites but everything in is is hilarious. Definitly worth a few minutes of anyones time.

Apple - QuickTime - WWDC 2006

Apple - QuickTime - WWDC 2006

This is why I love Steve Jobs. He makes everything sound so desireable. The hilight was the Leopard previews. Time Machine, while not really desireable for me is extremely impressive. Complete backward searching and automatic backuping. A lot of new additional features for Dashboard, Mail and a new interface program called "Spaces". I was really impressed by Spaces. Expose made using the computer so much easier but Spaces goes as far as giving you separate collections of windows that you can easily swap between. I'm really looking forward to getting a MacBook now but I pretty much have to wait for Leopard to come out now.

Mac's been selling me more and more on every new release. I'd still prefer if they continued the iPod Photo but it's a small concession.

Wilco are amazing

I FINALLY got to see Wilco last night and it was every bit as good as I expected. Great view, killer lights, new songs, audience play, etc. It was great fun. I really hope someone was recording it. 

I've got tonnes of pictures and video, most kind of crappy but i'm glad I have them. Just one more show now, The New Pornographers, and the festival ends and I head back home.

Ottawa has been a blast. These have been some of the best days of my life.

Of Comings and Goings

It's one of those little ironies of life that Pink Floyd release I have anticipating for years falls on the same day as one of the saddest in the bands career. 

First, the sad. 

Roger Keith "Syd" Barrett passed away on the 11th. Sources report that it was due to a diabetes complication. BBC. Syd was the creative mastermind behind the band in its early stages and has a remained a powerful influence on them through their career, even if he had no direct contribution to it. Syd will be missed by me at the very least.

And on to the good. I've long considered P.U.L.S.E. to be the crowing achievement of Pink Floyd's long illustrious career and now it is finally, FINALLY available on DVD. I missed the boat on the VHS but the CD still holds a place at the top of my list of favourite albums. I can't think of a single other  thing that has left me as profoundly awestruck as some of the performances on those discs, and now I can watch it at my leisure. The only thing that could make it better is if it was a widescreen release, but at this point I don't really care so long as I can see that huge mirror plated flowering disco ball descend on the crowd during the climax of comfortably numb. 

YouTube - World Cup Game

YouTube - World Cup Game

Where were YOU at the World Cup final '06?

I was in Little Italy, Ottawa being swarmed on by the biggest mass of red, white and green a person is ever likely to see in their lifetime.

AND GOD DAMN IT WAS AWESOME!

RagnarTornquist.com � Blog Archive � Sequel rumours

RagnarTornquist.com � Blog Archive � Sequel rumours

After finishing Dreamfall tonight I was left with a empty feeling, the kind that can only come from being really excited about some resolution then being left hanging. Please don't let it be another 6 years before we get past the halfway point in the plot. I mean, at least The Longest Journey felt reasonable self-contained. Dreamfall just cuts you off without even answering half the questions it poses.

All this just after watching the Lost season finale. Come on guys! You're driving me nuts!

Stephen Colbert Roasts at the White House Correspondents' Dinner

Throw away your TV Video Archive

This is beautiful. Colbert stands up in front of George W. Bush, the White House Press Corps, Supreme Court Judges and any number of influential government figures and tears them down. There's barely a laugh from the crowd but that's not exactly suprising. And as if the performance itself wasn't good enough there's a video after where Colbert 'Auditions' for the job of White House Press Secretary resulting in the most hilarious use of Helen Thomas in anything.

Mr. Colbert, you have balls of steel.

Canadian Musicians Take A Stand

Canadian Music Creators Coalition: A New Voice

A number of high profile Canadian musicians have formed the CMCC, an action group that plans on defending those music fans who have been sued in their name by the record labels. Members as of now include: Barenaked Ladies, Avril Lavigne, Sarah McLachlan, Chantal Kreviazuk, Sum 41, Stars, Raine Maida (Our Lady Peace), Dave Bidini (Rheostatics), Billy Talent, John K. Samson (Weakerthans), Broken Social Scene, Sloan, Andrew Cash and Bob Wiseman (Co-founder Blue Rodeo).

Google in China: The Big Disconnect - New York Times

Google in China: The Big Disconnect - New York Times

Wow. This is a fantastic article dealing with the Google-China controversy. It's extremely well written and provides a great bottom up view of Chinese internet culture. I highly recommend it if you're in any way interested in the issue.

Speedruns at night

I am at the point in my study schedule where sleeping occurs at such random intervals as to make 'going to bed' a difficult game of me vs. insomnia. I've falling asleep in the middle of the day and stayed up till 4:00 doing nothing but trying to figure out out just what the Floyd Girls on my wall are talking about. So in addition to a strict diet of hastily prepared sandwiches and Ibuprofen and no chocolate/coffee/tea/sugar after 8 I've introduced something which has actually been able snap me off to bed just like that. I'll go to this site download a random speedrun movie and watch it. Sure enough after about 30 minutes i'll be able to roll over and go to bed.

Now I for one love this kind of stuff. In addition to the rediculious amounts of TV I download other useless shit I do to waste time this one is probably the most passively entertaining. Half the time I can just put one on and continue about my work or listen to music. I first discovered the sites ability to knock me out earlier this term and since then I've watched practically every NES, SNES and Genesis video they have to offer, I've even taken to watching the new submissions and unfinished movies.

I'm just saying, god damn that's a lot of games to watch. I can't wait until I don't need to resort to such ass-backwards methods of tricking myself to sleep. Consequently tonight will be Cabal. A game I have never heard of and expect to be pretty terrible.

Superman is a Dick

Superman is a Dick

I guess there's only so much you can do with the greatest super hero ever before you just let him dick everyone around for the hell of it. #3 holds a special place in my heart.

Kelly Stoltz - Memory Collector

Kelly Stoltz - Memory Colelctor

Hmmm. Piano, strings, good sounding vocals. Not much melody variation here, just straightforward piano driven chords with some nice vocals and a little string enriching over the top. Not bad for an introduction though, I'm curious to hear what the rest of the album sounds like.

Penguins Proven to be More Awesome than Dinosaurs

News in Science - Penguins survived when dinosaurs died - 07/04/2006

I admit it. I am obsessed with penguins and all things deritive thereof. It comes to no suprise to me that they have been around since the beginning of time and survived whatever pansy little cough or global disaster took down the thunder lizards.

The Gospel of Judas

Judas seen as Jesus' collaborator, not his betrayer / Early Christian manuscript portrays him as favored disciple who was told he'd be 'cursed by the other generations': "'But you will exceed all of them. For you will sacrifice the man that clothes me.'"

I love this kind of stuff. Evidently there's been a 'Gospel of Judas' floating around since the 70s but it only just got translated by National Geographic and the findings released to the public. In it Judas was one of Jesus' favoured disciples and the only one who truly 'understood' his teachings. Before his death Jesus told Judas that he would be responsible for his death.

They seem to believe that the text is real, the debate now is whether the findings really mean anything or are just the ramblings of a failed spliter sect of early Christians.

I love this Apocrapha stuff.

The Magic Numbers

I remember a time maybe two years ago when pop music was as foreign a concept to me as used panty vending machines and delousing the elderly. The New Pornographers barely registered as non-offensive sounds. U2 were those guys who I kind of like but never listened to. Why would I bother listening to these soft and fuzzy bands when Spoon and Eels and My Morning Jacket were coming out with such amazing rock albums?

I think the first change came when I heard about Field Music's release of last year. It was so hard to find but somehow, I knew I had to get it. My search was not in vain and it blew away my expectations of 'just another pop band' but I felt unfulfilled. I relistened to Twin Cinema and Sufjan's Illinois and all those pop staples of last year all the while keeping my new obsession with pop in the closet... what would my friends think?! And then came The Magic Numbers. I still haven't had enough of this album and when I'm in the mood for some feelgood music that I can sing along to and snap my fingers to and do all those rediculious looking things people do when they're enjoying what they're listening to WAY too much. When I was doing up my best of 2005 list I kept trying to find a place to put them but I convinced myself that there were better pop albums and that they were already way overrepresented.

So here we are in April and I'm still listening to Magic Numbers while Sufjan has sat unlistened for many a month. In recompensation for me glossing over this one for so long I thought I'd pay it some respect and give thanks for finally helping me get over that mental aversion to 'happy pop music.'

I've actually been finding that I'm pining this year for a really good pop album but as of yet the closest thing that I've come across is the new Islands. Come on music industry! We need some tunes that I can unconciously mouth lyrics to while I amble around this summer! Your audience needs you!

Furthermore, I got punked by CMG. Good job guys.

Bandwagon Jumping for Fun

In my neverending pursuit of music and the tragic loss of my favourite review source I've taken to stalking label pages looking for sample mp3s. Truth be told, I was reading You Ain't No Picasso and came across a great new Jens Lekman song and a Flaming Lips picture set. Then, remembering 3hive, I decided that it might be fun to follow this stuff myself, so I poked around Jagjaguwar for a bit and found a few catchy tracks.

The Dugout. Not too bad. Really simple riffs but they catch. Comes off a little cheesy and 'vintage' though. Actually, now that I think of it, early Foo Fighters only with a kind of noodling solo.

http://www.jagjaguwar.com/onesheet.php?cat=JAG097

CMJ Punked

AHHHH!!! CokeMachineGlow.... gone? What I wouldn't give for this to be some cruel joke... :(

I'll miss you buddy.

Slow News Day

You know it's a slow news day when CNN reports on a "The Smoking Gun" article about Dick Cheney's hotel rider. Apparently he likes Diet Sprite and FOX news.

Article

And if that isn't enough to satisfy your lust for trivial information, Fidel Castro incinerates all his dirty underwear and has love for Spanish Ham.

Article

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Ahh, St. Patrick's Day. The one day in March when you can get rip-roaring drunk and translate that to a celebration of Irish heritage. I was at my good friend's house celebrating their birthday, drinking Guinness, being attacked by small green girls. The crowd was getting restless and had run out of liquor so they were getting ready to go downtown to hit some bars. One of the house residents, let's call him.... R, stumbles up next to me as I'm sitting at the kitchen table and appears to be talking to someone on his cellphone. To this point he had been drinking Fireball Whiskey and Caffinated Beer and staying quiet as far as I could see. I look over to him and notice that he's not talking to anyone and looks like he might be sick soon, so I stand up.

It is at this point that I notice that he's peeing on the floor.

Yes. The floor in the middle of the kitchen. Right next to me. People start to take notice but no one can comprehend this situation, let alone do something to stem the ever growing pool of urine that is gathering on the kitchen floor. He doesn't quite finish up but he does fall down and hit his head off the cabinet. He is quickly rushed upstairs while we try to clean up and make sense of what is happening.

After a little cleaning I go upstairs to go to the bathroom, which is right next to R's door. Another roommate is sitting in front of the door to keep him from getting out. I do my business and come out to see him re-entering his room. A few minutes later he comes up the stairs again. Knowing that there is no staircase in his room to the other floors of the house we realize that he has been jumping out the window... on the second floor of the house... and coming back in. An attempt is made to settle him down but he will not be stopped. He runs out of the house without shoes or jacket. We decide after a few minutes that he is probably in danger and send people out to look for him. They return with no sighting.

As funny as it was at the time I'm still worried. Hopefully this will just be a thing we can look back at and laugh at someday.

Snakes! On A Plane!

A trailer for SNAKES ON A PLANE is out! I'm glad Sam Jackson fought for the name to stay. I can't imagine this movie even pretending to be serious.

Ain't It Cool News Article


And there is new evidence to support the theory that the universe went through rapid expansion in its earliest days.
The Universe

Ahh. Lockeian politics at 9:00 in the morning.

I think it says something unflattering that I enjoy learning about property rights when my coffee hasn't even kicked in yet.

I caught up on Veronica Mars this past week. The first season was quite good, even if it's a little too OC/high school for my tastes. Season two isn't really impressing me so far but the clues they drop at the end of the episode keep me interested. I was pretty happy to see THE TODD from Scrubs as a juror in the New Years episode.

Eels: With Strings - This has been my album for the past few day. I've always like Eels but the strings really bring this up a level. I admit it, I'm a sucker for the chello.

The Blue Kaffee show last night was, as I expected, a flop. I don't really know what the real reason for the severe lack of participation but I would guess that it's a combination of everyone going to the other show, people taking BK for granted and an unreliable revenue gathering system. You can't rely on one show every few months to cover all the costs. If you do, you get situations like this where your event busts and you're shit out of luck.

I came across Scrubs the other day and don't think I've ever seen any show that so addicting. After watching Season One in a single sitting it's been hard to not watch 8 episodes in a row.

In local news: We're getting some of the fallout of the Williams/McCarthy debate on the sealing industry about now. Williams dominated the debate. No one was expecting any of the debaters opinions to change but I was kind of expecting some of McCarthy's arguments to be more then a poorly defended "animals are people too" and the same old stock propaganda that people have been using for years without realizing how wrong it is. Link:

And as for music this week: I finally started to enjoy Guided By Voices. I think I over did myself on Neko Case and The Sadies and My Morning Jacket last week so I'm making up with some good old 90s rock.

The Eels - With Strings: Live at Town Hall - What can I say. It's Eels with strings. Nothing really new here but I always like hearing orchestral renditions of music I like. I'll probably won't be listening to this over and over but It reminded me of the good old days of Shootennany.

Scrubs Season One Soundtrack - Everything on this counts as a guilty pleasure. It's like the OC soundtrack. Lots of poppy little songs that I either really like or at the very least are catchy.

See You on the Moon! Songs for Kids of All Ages - Lots of my favourite artists singing childrens songs. Sufjan Stevens, Great Lake Swimmers, Broken Social Scene, Mark Kozelek, Kid Koala, etc. This album hits a lot of different styles and works as an introduction to the styles. The Broken Social Scene song, Puff The Magic Dragon, is probably the saddest version of it ever made, though.

The Flaming Lips - At War With The Mysics - About what you'd expect after Yoshimi. It's great and it feels like they're being a bit more preofessional with their production. Free Radical is flat out addicting and Pompeii Am Götterdämmerung feels like something straight out of Pink Floyd. Highly Recommended.